Monday, June 2, 2008
When you are facing trying times, it is high time you continue to try
Being a single mother, I went through lots and lots of hardship without any one's help. I went through alone, so silly, thinking back. I could have gone to some where like the church, or Buddhist asso., MCA , NGO or anything like that and ask them what to do with myself, and my children, but I didnt. We needed councilling, I didnt realized that. I thought I was OK and I didn't know there were organisations like that which may be of help to us. May be I was too busy thinking of the our future. In my mind all I wanted is to take good care of my 2 sons, prevent them from being hurt. I always put up a smilling face in front of friends and family members. So all of them thought I was OK!!! Let me tell you very frankly, I was not OK at ALL!!!!!
Later when I started to express my feelings, I was so glad to find 2 pairs of listening ears. They were my son's nanny and my 3rd sister. Only 2 of them really showed they care, and they were and are still the only understanding person on earth. If you can find one really good friend on earth, you are lucky, now I found 2, so I think I am 2x lucky.
See how patiently I waited for my mentors (Mental torture, hehehe!) to grow up. Off course not just sit there la, I did a lot of things to make ends meet.
I did many jobs to survived. I worked for an old lawyer, a very fussy, stubborn and a really difficult man to work with. I was the only employee who dare to walk out of him while he was still "lecturing", and the funny things was, he sacked all others except me. You probably still cannot imaging what type of a man he was. I was the No. 18th staff employed by him. If not for the sake of livelihood, I would have fled that place. I worked with that ridiculous man for 15 long years, patience ya!
Every day, the fussy boss would go home for lunch and usually would not return again after that. I was so free I went next door to do sewing for a tailor and earn some extra income + free lunch every day. Occassionally the fussy boss would return to the office, then the collegue would quickly phone me - "Molly, quickly come back! The monster is back !!!!" "Ok, if he asks about me, tell him I got stuck in the bank, OK!" "No problem!" . The few excuses we thought of were : to the bank, stuck in the traffic jam, went back home because children sick etc...etc...
I also bought and sold 2nd hand cars. Look at the women in the picture, do you think she can do that? Ya, dont judge her by the timid look! I was not brave but was very innocent, not thinking much about the consequences, what I thought off was money and nothing else. I usually could earn up to 2 to 3 thousand Ringgit per deal. There was once I earn RM4,000.00 within 2 days. I also bought and sold houses and from there, I also earned some money through few transactions. Not easy but good money yo!!!
When my children were younger, they followed me anywhere. Now they are not willing to go if the brother is not going along, the poor mother has to go alone, so terrible! Anyway I have to accept the fact that they are growing up and not growing younger. That is a positive sign and acceptable truth. Hehehehe
I have gone through the hardest time in life, but now the neighbour is giving me another trying time, this is not a joke. Cannot laugh...... cannot cry........cannot shout.........cannot scold........ SSStopp thinking, I will go crazy!
To some people : "LIFE IS WHAT YOU GET FROM IT"
Whereas to others : "LIFE IS WHAT YOU GIVE TO IT"
But to WISEMEN : "LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT"